Yep it’s that time of year again, the latest instalment of the twilight movie franchise “Breaking Dawn” is set to break box office records- and a few hearts over the coming weeks.
As a closet “twi-hard” I am enamoured with the passionate love story, along with the pale skinned trend it generated… but what other messages is the series conveying to viewers?
1) If you are negative, clumsy, unsocial and uninspired, the sexy intelligent new guy at school will obviously fall madly in love with you (so why bother trying to better yourself when Mr Perfect is on his way?).
2) If this wasn’t good enough, he will also be ridiculously rich and have the power to change you into a ridiculously good-looking and powerful immortal (so no need to worry about forging a career girls).
3) Love and co-dependancy go hand in hand, so when you find your vampire lover be sure to make plans to leave your family and friends forever.
4) Even though you are the fore-mentioned negative, clumsy, anti-social and uninspired creature, a second dreamy male will also be madly in love with you- so you can drool over his ripped body while you decide which perfect 10 you want to spend the rest of your life with!
What does this do to females? It is pretty much the equivalent of an emotional mind-fuck and you will no doubt leave the cinemas feeling empty, unappreciated and unloved, regardless of your current relationship status. It may or may not also turn you into an emotional time-bomb…
What does twilight do to males? Twilight is like kryptonite for the postmodern male- only bad can come from close proximity.
Example:
My friend made the mistake of taking a lovely girl on a FIRST date to see one of the twilight movies. At the end of the screening the lovely girl had transformed into a wailing banshee- demanding to know why my friend didn’t love her as much as Edward loved Bella…
Needless to say my friend ran for the hills and refuses to see or speak of twilight ever again.
Negatives aside I still do love the Twilight saga, and in such cynical times it is great to see everlasting love still exists at least among vampires.
For the future generation of young women, I thank god for Beyonce- for without her we might be taking a few steps backward and creating co-dependent, booty-popping, “bitches and hoes” waiting for a man to make their dreams come true.
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